Giving ourselves negative self-labels is a form of stinking thinking.

Stinking thinking was term coined by American psychologist Albert Ellis. 

It perfectly sums up all forms of unhelpful thinking. 

Much of my life and work is an ongoing battle to root it out and eliminate it whenever and wherever possible in myself and others.

The Situation

Let’s say you drop something, a cup of tea for example, at some point in the day. 

Be honest here, how likely are you to call yourself negative names? 

The answer in my experience is very likely.

It's a very easy thing to do to yourself. 

It can even become a deeply ingrained habit if left unchecked.

Negative self-labelling is a very pernicious form of stinking thinking.

These types of self-label are identity level accusations, they are very negative and they can wear you down over time. 

You can then start to truly believe your own negative labels. 

Your negativity toward yourself will only increase. 

This is not a good thing.

The Solution

Whenever you catch yourself falling into this trap, one solution is to robustly challenge the label and replace it with a better one.

For example, if you spill some tea, it simply means you spilled some tea. 

You are someone who had an accident with a cup of liquid. 

It happens. 

You are in fact just a human in a hurry. 

Moreover, 99% of the time you are someone who doesn't have accidents at all.

This was just a random event due to rushing too fast.

Stop at that point because no more labels are required.

I used to be extremely good at bringing myself down with negative self-labels.

Not any more. 

Identifying them then grabbing hold of them and replacing them with positive labels has made all the difference.

Hopefully that's offered you some food for thought.

BTW Here's an in-depth article on the topic of total ownership which you can check out on my main blog: "Stinking Thinking" Must Go! https://wp.me/p2kd5B-Rc

All the very best to you on your self-confidence journey. 

Andrew D Pope.